And then I found out how hard it is to really change. Even hell can get comfy once you settled in. I just wanted the numb inside me to leave. No matter how fucked up you get, there’s always hell when you come back down. Funny thing is, all I ever wanted, I already had. There’s glimpses of heaven in everything. In the friends I have, the music I make, the love that I feel. I just had to start again.